Hello everyone. I figured the best way to dive into this project would be to do a quick introduction to the online communities I am most interested in studying, and a few aspects of these communities that I find particularly fascinating. I’ll start with…WaitingTillMarriage.org!
WaitingTillMarriage.org’s tagline is “Make it to your wedding night without dying of frustration first.” According to their “About Us” section, they’re a website in which “Everything you see is written, edited, and curated by people who are actively waiting on sex. Even our web developer is waiting till marriage.” They say they are “not here to damn those who don’t choose to wait”, instead they’re here to “help those who wait through the unique challenges and hurdles that come with this path.” They claim to have 46,000 unique visitors a month, members from every major religion (including atheists), and a gender ratio of 65% girls/35% guys (“more balanced than you might think”).
Their content includes articles, typically in “listicle” form, an active comments section, and a forum in which members are free to chat with one another about a variety of topics. Articles include topics such as “The Top 11 Awesome Benefits of Waiting Until Marriage”, “5 Tips on Dating a Guy Who’s Waiting Till Marriage (If You’re Not)”, and “Jealousy FAQ: How to Get Over Your Partner’s Past.” A particular topic of interest is the subforum “Ask A (Married) Waiter”, in which members can pose questions to one of the site members who self-identifies as a successful married waiter. Questions range from the banal (“How do you deal with morning breath?”) to intensely personal (“What is most challenging aspect of learning how to have sex?”).
Nearly all members self-identify as virgins and are in their 20s, although a minority of members have decided to wait for marriage after having had sex during a previous relationship, or are married members who consider themselves to have successfully waited. Comments frequently express immense appreciation for the site and the place it gives members to talk to others like them. Members describe the loneliness they feel in making an uncommon choice about a topic that is so prominent in society. Disparaging the growth of "hook up culture" is pervasive, as is worrying about their chances of getting a partner who is willing to wait. Issues of the jealousy that comes up when a member develops feelings for a person who has had sex is also common. Debating the relative merits of the choice to wait, the choice to be with a fellow virgin, what counts as sex, and whether or not it is worth it to develop a relationship with non-virgins are prominent topics in the articles, comments, and forums alike, with members coming down on many different sides of the debate.
Yet despite the frequency of debates within the comments, and the variety of religious and political ideologies among members, very few real fights seem to break out within the comments and forums. Members seem to approach the community with the belief that, despite their differences, they are there to support one another through the highs and lows of waiting, not to argue. Their identity as virgins, and, perhaps most importantly, as "waiters," is something most members view as a crucial piece of their identity, something that transcends the ideological differences that people within the group might possess.
Is there anything you'd like to hear about this community that I left out, or that you guys would like to hear more about? Should I do more introductions the communities I'm studying? Please let me know in the comments!
-IDtN